Jamye's Shiz-nit

Long time................

2006-01-20T05:21:30Z

I thought this was neat.....

THE MAYONNAISE JAR AND COFFEE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar... and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began,wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar as full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness."

Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and enquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

blind.....

2005-11-27T20:13:38Z

It's a weird day. Kinda sad really. Snow is stupid when there is no sun out. Everyone seems so depressed, that's why i don't like this time of year. I don't like being sad. The weather has definately had an affect on me. It makes me think too much, which leads to worrying which makes me crazy cuz i worry too much.

I'm in the process of dieing my hair. It's dark, cuz i feel dark. I'm going to get my hair cut really short and it better look hot or i'm going to shoot myself in the head. I don't think it'll look too bad.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME SOON! I'll be 20 which is weird.

I wish i could show my tattoo on here, i'm going to get this calladah, it's going to be hot. It'd be even hotter as a chest piece but i don't think i have the guts to do that. I really wish that i did. It would be very sexy!

Why does everyone seem to be so emotionally unstable? I'm not saying that i have eveything all together cuz by all means i don't but no one likes to talk or listen about anything. Or am i just being a sad little girl who is a pussy?

Quick question.....

When you go up behind someone and u pull their pants down what do you call that?

Please comment, even if i don't know you i'm trying to prove a point. =)

It's too bad not very many people read this cuz i know there isn't going to be very many comments lol i jst really wanna prove a point cuz i know i'm right cuz that's how it's always been. lol

I'm gonna get my leave on i gots like 5 more minutes before i have to wash the color out of my hair. peace and hair grease!

p.s. i love my new icon =D

Ponderisms....

2005-11-21T17:38:51Z

· * I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

· * Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

· * The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

· * Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

· * There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· * Life is sexually transmitted.

· * Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· * The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

· * Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

· * Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· * Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· * Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· * All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

· * In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

· * How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· * Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

· * Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

· * Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

· * If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

· * Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

· * Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

· * If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· * If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

· * Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

· * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

· * Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

· * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

hahaha

2005-11-08T18:27:51Z

<------ Hey, Brandy this is for you i found it lol

I went to the dentist...i fear him more than anyone in the world. =( How sad am I?

Not too many days until my birthday....=)

My teeth hurt...stupid dentist...

So hung ova....this morning

2005-10-30T05:11:15Z

I had a GREAT NIGHT last night. I got to hang out with some of my best friends and i'm really glad that we're all together again well talking anyways....=)

I like this quote that i found in a person that i know's profile....

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep Because reality is finally better than your dreams"

I think it's cute ; )

I'm really glad now that i feel more relaxed. I need a massage really bad on my shoulders, i'm so tense from being cold all the time.

Dance is going well....work sucks as usual but you'll always have that. Halloween was kick ass and i'm pissed cuz my pix didn't turn out the way that i planned. Stupid drunkeness. I got new underwear YAY! I"m sure everyone wanted to kknow that! ; ) (everyone of no one that reads this)

If anyone wants to see a good movie then rent/buy "Manic" it's about a bunch of teenagers who are in this mental institution and things happen and it's just really good.

I've never seen the blair witch porject....

Well this is boring so peace out!

Jamye

Do be do be do....

2005-10-22T19:14:12Z

Holy Crap! i'm watching this show on CMT called "Man vs. Vegas" And he makes me crazy! He's real hot but he like just gives all his money away...It makes me think...what the heck does he do to get all that money! He jsut lost 35,000 and it was like nothing to him. I don't know it was stressin me out.

I had a pretty good time last night. We drank at my house for a little bit and then aaron came over and hung out for a little bit and then we went to the Granzos and sat around a fire that was REALLY WARM by the way...it was so cold out. I have a game today so i didnt' drink too much, i didn't want a hang over!

I might go to this halloween party tonight but i'm not real sure if i will, cuz i don't know how late the game is going to go. IF i don't get to, there is a kick ass halloween party next weekend that i definately can't wait for and i know that it's going to be kick ass cuz it's with all fun non dramatic people. I can't wait!

I also can't wait for brandon to come home. I miss him so much it makes me sick. I can't wait to see him. He makes me so happy. things are going so well between us...

My cousin talked to me the other day and she is thinkin about starting a small business in photography. Well i'm really excited about it cuz she asked me to be a part of it! So i think that im going to help her buy the equipment so it can get started faster and then i'll actually have kind of a living. I'm going to see what davenport offers in that aspect and go back to school for sure for photography cuz delta offers shit in that category.

I gotta get to sagnazty so peace out!

::Sigh::

2005-10-20T18:48:27Z

Life is good.....

For the time being anyways.....

So much frustruation.....

2005-10-10T19:31:28Z

People can be so judgemental! It makes me so sick! I wanna be an ass hole and just push it more and more but i know that will make things so much worse but i would get so much more satisfaction out of it. =þ

I hate this thing, but for some reason i keep coming back to it and writing about my non eventful life and everything that is worth writing about i definately don't write about it in here cuz not everyone needs to know everything about me. Not that too many people ,if any, reads this. If you know me, you know all the important things that are going on, well what i'm willing to share. I'm a pretty closed up person a lot of the times. I don't know why, i don't like to talk. It's weird. No one listens to me anyways i just babble like i am now.

People annoy me so much. DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE!!! There is this guy, that comes to my work. He looks like the skater type kinda cute personally, but he always brings in different kids that have special needs everyday, to get ice cream for them. i think that is one of the sweetest things. I'm real sure he gets judged alot cuz he really looks like the skater type and look at me judging, he probably doesn't even skate. lol

ANYWAYS....i'm going bye

My mood is irritated but i don't look like that guy.....lol

Been a while...

2005-10-05T01:56:52Z

I've been pretty busy lately. Kind of overwhelming. I had a better weekend than last. THANK GOD last weekend was terrible, no one deserves to have a weekend like that!

I"m really happy right now. I kind of have a plan, i'm realizing more and more things (not going into detail) and i'm slowly figuring things out.

saturday was good. I had the day off so i was chillin out for a bit and then i went to the mall? maybe i don't really know actually i don't think i did but we'll pretned that i did. Then it was Kens birthday and i got really drunk it was pretty funny, i'm not going into detail about that cuz i don't remember much of that night but everyone said that i had a really good time! lol i heard a lot of stories.

Well sunday rolls around and i wake up early i always do after a long night of drinking i don't know why. But me and Brandon went to breakfast and he took me to his old neighborhood and i got to meet a lot of people from his past. I really enjoyed it. I love learning stuff about him. He's such an intersting person. He may not seem like it on the outside (that sounds mean) but there are so many things that he's done and been through, and i jsut like him a lot and i love to learn new things about him because it makes me like him more and more.

i hope you're done puking now i'm sorry.

I've made a resume and i plan on taking it to a lot of places here pretty soon. I wanna go to the hospital and that place that you can go to to apply for dow that would be nice just to be a secretary or soemthing. Maybe i'm thinking too big. lol. I'm too much of a loser.

Well i'm going to get outta herre.

peace

J-me

P.S. I need to trim my cats arm pits

::SIGH::

2005-09-28T02:57:03Z

I'm kinda tired. I've had another exhausting day and i just want to have a day off.

I went to the grocery store with my aunt Barb today and i got stuff to make puppy chow and church glass! My two favorite things in the world.

Its getting cold out. I'm going to go make my bed, maybe i'll write more, maybe i won't =þ

By the way lindsay, i hope that your computer is doing well. I'm glad i didn't click it. But i see that you're back on so i'm assuming that everything is ok.

BYE

All Stressed out!

2005-09-26T19:49:00Z

I've had a really great weekend! And a really bad one at the same time.

...by the way, its been a while i didn't realize...

ANYWAYS this was my weekend...

Friday:

I went to work (fun fun) then i went home and changed and did all that good stuff and went to the homecoming football game with brandy and brandon, it was cool. Saw some peeps and we were chillin out by the food stands and was watching everyone gawk at brandons neck lol NOW THAT'S FUNNY! Then....hmm...i'm not really sure what we did. (5MINUTES LATER) I REMEMBER! We wen't to Brandy's and Steve and some other dude came over and we watched a movie. It was pretty fun.

Saturday:

Now saturday was a blast! I had my first hockey game that i performed at. I was so nervous that day because no one knew what was going to be going on cuz the spirit organization is so unorganized and it sucks! But everything went so smoothly it was great. We had so many good comments and everyone wanted us to do more IT WAS AWESOME! The people wouldn't let us perform in the actual rink (which i didn't understand) but we had a lot of requests that we go in there more. I got to sign autographs i felt like i was famous it was so cool. We have a poster now. Our picture in the program looks awesome! I didn't get to pick one of those up but i'm going to next time. I had such a good time, i can't wait for the next game. After that i went to TGI FRIDAYS and met up with Brandy there and went home. She wanted to go tot he moviez and i didn't have the money so i didn't go and i stayed home and drank a few with Brandon and then went to sleepy town!

Sunday:

Sunday was terrible. It was really stormy out so i woke up in a pissy mood along with everyone else in my home and just sat in my room all day til i had to go to work. I didn't have to go there til 4 but i left at 3 cuz i couldn't stand sitting here any longer and me and Brandon drove around everywhere stoped at a few stores and just drove. Well on our way into "the cone" Brandon gets pulled over for expired plates. Well he doesn't have his lisecense renewed so he was fucked. I went into my work while all of this was happening and was trying to watch to see what was going to happen. He comes in hands me his keys and telles me that i have to drive his car home! I'm freaking out cuz he goes outside and gets into the cop car so i get a little teary eyed cuz it was my fault and we had been argueing about something stupid so i was stressed out! But then like 20 minutes later, he comes into my work and has to wait for me to get out cuz he cant' drive. Then after work i drive him to his house and we sit there for a while so he can change and change the plate on his car and on my way out the door to come home i get a call from my sister, and she's like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! Elizabeth (my cousin) got in a car accident and grandma had a stroke! I WAS LIKE AHHHH! So i went to the accident first and watched over Kevin for a minute nad then went to my grandmas to see how she was doing. She looked pretty good, well as good as she's going to look after having a stroke. So i went to the hospital after that and kept kevin company and found out liz was doing good. Nothing broken or anything just a litttle sore so i went home finally. TERRIBLE DAY!

So now i'm good. Today wasn't so bad but i'm going to stop writing cuz this a lot to read and congradulations toyou if yo got through the whole thing =þ

Frustrated!

2005-09-22T02:54:13Z

I am full of so much jealousy right now. I'm never jealous...EVER! I don't even know what to say about it. i wish i didn't feel that way. I have a trust, but that jealousy won't leave me...i don't get it. There has never been a reason for me to mistrust in this situation.

I got a new tongue ring in THANK GOD! Now it's not so visible, so i dont have to try so hard to hide it for dance. I don't think i 'm going to keep this for very long. It's kind of annoying. I actually don't even know why i got it. It was kind of a last minute decision. i think i' m stupid sometimes.

WHY AM I SO JEALOUS!

I have lots on my mind. Not necessarily bad stuff but not good either...just stuff...

I'm really glad that Lindsay has stopped smoking for the time being...i hope that she keeps it up. i'm really glad that she is doing it. I love it when people dont' smoke. You know what i really hate tho...when people come through the drive through, they have their cigarettes hanging out the window and when they drive up to the window that i'm at they blow their smoke in my face or they have their cigarette ahnging out the window going inside my window and makin the store smell like their dirty rotten breath. IT ANNOYS ME SO BAD! Now wouldn't you think it's common courtesy to NOT do that to people. Some people don't think.

I gotta give sum peeps a call. People that i haven't talked to in a while, see what they're up to.

Well i'm bored with this now so PEACE i'm outie!

Jamye

EXHAUSTED!

2005-09-21T01:23:25Z

I'm so tired right now. Dance practices have been a bitch lately. We're trying to get ready for the games and try to get everything perfect and it's been really hard. But i love it. It'll all pay off in the end i think we'll look awesome. We've all worked so hard and i'm proud of us. I'm extremely nervous for the first game that we're going to be at. THAT'S A LOTTA PEOPLE! The most people i've ever been in front of is at the midland dow games and i mean that's a lotta people but i don't think it's going to be as many as what's going to be here. Maybe i'm expecting too much. I just feel really overwhelmed, but i will love it i know it.

By the way....if anyone wants tickets to the game i can hook you up! =þ

I really wanna go to shooters this weekend. I like it there. Eiter there or R.j.'s THAT KICKED ASS! I got a new shirt that i'm going to wear to shooters It's awesome. I don't usually get clothes that i can wear out. If you know what i mean. I usually get casual clothing. So i'm excited.

I get this whole weekend off. That's some big news! That doesn't happen too often.

My cousin gota new house and she lives next to sum people from the tattoo shop...there is only a few select people that i think would appreciate that cuz it's really not anything important.

i'm rambling...

peaCE OUT

Jamye

La te da

2005-09-19T15:00:34Z

I had a fun weekend. I got to go to Lake City well Goose Lake really, and had a blast. I ended up going to Cadillac on saturday night with my cousin and saw all the people i miss. I love it up there! It was so nice to see all of them. We all ended up going to Reed City that night for a specific reason that i'm not going to explain cuz you'll think i'm crazy. Needless to say, it was fun.

I would love to move up there one day...even if it's jsut in a little cabin. I have so much fun. I love the campfires, i could have those every night. I love the peace, most people are so friendly to you.

We got a new couch.

I've been buying movies a lot lately. I love them. I've never seen one of them but i heard from Lindsay that i'ts a really good movie. So i thought that for 7 bucks i would try it out. I'm going to watch that today.

I need a car...if anyone on here knows about a ar hat's for sale TELL ME! I need one bad. I wanna get a different job.

i'm gonna leave now i'm bored.

Jamye

what's up

2005-09-16T19:04:29Z

SO i'm back....We didn't have the computer for about a week. It has taken me a while to get to read all the journals that have been written, i still havent gotten through all of them. Things have been going pretty well for me. Or well enough at least. I'm going to lake city this weekend. I can't wait. I wish brandy would drive up there but gas is a bitch. It would be fun to sit around the fire and stuff. I hope that i get a hold of sara and hopefully i get to go to cadillac.

I look like shit today.

oh well

I'm gone

Jamye

P.S. I hate soaps....

lala

2005-09-07T23:06:39Z

I'm bored not going to write too much. I've got a lotta time on my hands now it seems and it kinda sucks. No one ever comments to me...i'm i gay? i'm just kidding. i just have nothing interesting to say and whenever i do write in here i'm usually bitching about something. I'm having a prety good day today so i'm not oging to write anytihgn too bad. I do think it's going to storm so i'mkinda scared. I WANNA DO SOEMTHING!

PEACE OUT!

Alone and lonely

2005-09-07T03:58:50Z

So my day wasn't all that great. I'm actually really sad right now.

I'm just on here to vent cuz i can't sleep so here goes....this is what's on my mind ......

I met this guy a few weeks ago. Things have been going absolutely great. I like him probably more than i should but i can't help it. He's a really great guy and i can't seem to get enough of him. He's so interesting. He tells me all these stories and all the places he's been and it's so intreagueing. I love to listen to him. We seem to have so much in common yet we're so opposite. I love it. I love that i'm with him yet i hate it at the same time. I'm really afraid that i'm getting too into this really soon, i'm trying not to but that's just what i do. and i'm afraid that since it's going so well right now, that one day i'm going to wake up and it's going to be over and i don't wanna be heartbroken, that always sucks. I know though that it's always a chance that you have to take. I wish that i didn't like him so much already.

That's not even what i'm sad about either. He's just started this job, he does construction and he's an apprentice at heritage in mt pleasant and since he's started construction he's gotta wake up really early in the a.m. and then at 4 be at heritage until 10 so by the time he gets home it's like 11 pm and by that time he is tired (i would be too) and he wants to go to bed. Now this is really selfish of me but I WANNA SEE HIM! I'm mad right now that i'm never going to see him until his construction job is over. And i feel really selfish but i can't help it. I like him so much and i'm never going to be able to see him and it breaks my heart. I don't know how to deal with this.

I"m crazy. ::sigh::

I suck too

I want to see him just for a second even a mili-second would be good right now just enough time to give him a hug and then he could leave.

---i'm pouting right now--- i'm such a child....

THE WORST DAY!

2005-08-30T23:55:10Z

I'm not havin a really good day...i need a hug or something.

I'll tell you how my day went and if you don't care to hear about it STOP READING THIS NOW! Cuz it's all going to be a whole lotta bitching. HERE GOES...

I got woke up in a bad way this morning.

I just found out some really bad news, and my mom really pisses me off because of it.(<- this is really the whole reason why my whole day got thrown off)

Work sucked.

I had a performance today and i went to the wrong side of Haley St! So needless to say i was really late! and i was walking!

MY PANTS DON'T FIT!

I couldn't find the shirt i needed for dance.

My dance shoes are now ruined. (more money down the drain)

I'm lonely. (as always)

MY DOG ATE MY EXPENSIVE COOKIES! (I only got to have 1 of them out of 5!)

The picture that they put in the saginaw spirit website SUCKS of me! check it out and i give you permission to laugh your ass of cuz i did.... http://saginawspirit.com/danceteam

Harry Potter is stressing me out. (the book not the boy)

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS DAY IS OVER!

And i also can't wait til my mom grows up! I hope that i never have to go through what she's doing right now. I never wanna be like that. Things could've been so different.

YEEEEEEEEE

2005-08-26T19:34:23Z

I got my liscense! woooooo It's about time. I jsut need a car now. It doesn't really feel any different.

AAAAhhh

2005-08-23T19:12:32Z

I'm really nervous. I just got done practicing driving and i'm really nervous for tomorrow. I'm really not expecting to pass or anything because i haven't gotten any practice in..and i dont' wanna get my hopes up. But i hope i do ok. As long as i don't completely fail everything i'm good.

I'm in a good mood. I like when that happens.

Giggles

2005-08-21T19:32:27Z

My cookies fortune from yesterday....

"Your luck has been completely changed today."

I love china!

I'm in the greatest mood today. I had so much fun last night Brandy gets muy kudos...She was CRAZY! It happens tho and it was fun. I LOVE OUR HATS! I love trampolines too....i will always do that!

I CAN'T STOP SMILING!

This is going to be really weird for me to say but I CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO WORK! I'm gonna have fun. I love the people i work with today. It's going to be a hoot.

I wanna write a lot more BUT i can't I have to go away.....actually i cant multi task.

I'm good now.

This might not make any sense but i met sum peeps last night that know the same peeps i know! i was really amazed with how small the whole world is cuz i thought it was cool at the time. NEVERMIND!

peace out!

I can't get enough of this song...

2005-08-20T19:14:34Z

Dear Wally, i'm writing this letter sincerely.
To tell you you're the "sweetest boy i've ever known."
Remember that USO when we met.
You almost didnt go.
Well, me and your two sons are very glad you did.
When your eyes found me i could hardly breathe.
I wanted you.
Glad you wanted me.

I never stopped falling in love with you wally.
From the first day i saw you
I was sailor-bound, i just knew.
You had me, i was yours.
We danced out on the floor.
And with each passing day.
i only loved you more.

That night was pure magic.
Who would have imagined.
It would become 55 loving wonderful years.
Your job was not all easy.
Those last years i could hardly speak.
But when i looked at you i knew nothing had changed.
And when i was leaving.
I could feel you hurting.
But then i saw those angels and i knew your love would want this for me.

I never stopped falling in love with you wally.
From the first day i saw you
I was sailor-bound, i just knew.
You had me, i was yours.
We danced out on the floor.
And with each passing day.
I only loved you more..more.. more...more more

So while you're waiting
Know that im saying i love you
i love you.........

I never stopped falling in love with you wally.
From the first day i saw you
I was sailor-bound, i just knew.
You had me, i was yours.
We danced out on the floor.
And with each passing day.
I only loved you

You had me, i was yours.
We danced out on the floor.
And with each passing day.
I only loved you more..

Dear Wally,

Just a lil somethin' funny

2005-08-20T16:54:15Z

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now, class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The
entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly
at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
says........ "Well, I guess you'd have to write the
exam with your other hand."

We've been friends for many beers....!!!

2005-08-09T23:53:48Z

I'm doing well now. A hell of a lot better than i have been lately according to these. I'm still confused about a lot of issues but im learing to live with he fact that you cant talk to certain people, especially if they're not willing to. And i get that now. Some people just need to grow up so i'm giving space for that to happen, if it does, cuz i really don't think many boys do. <---this whole paragraph souds kinda mean and its really not suppose to, dont take that wrong. =)

I had fun last night...

...a little too much....i probably shouldn't even continue this story...

I'm gonna get going

Just some thoughts...

2005-08-06T20:01:03Z

Sometimes i just say fuck it! Sometimes i can't stop thinking about it obsessively, like now for instance, "nothing can really help me but time." i've heard, I HATE THAT!

Why do i care so much when i didn't really before?

How did i devlope all these feelings within such a short period of time?

Does he even care at all? My impression is no, but how can he not when he was the one that was so determined to be with me?

I can't do anything anymore without thinking about everything that has been happening. Sometimes i'm really bitter about it all and sometimes i get depressed, lately it's been more bitterness...becasue this specific person is acting like a child in my eyes...why would i want someone who acts like a child? I've been asking myself that a lot and i can't figure out what it is but no matter what i still want him just as bad. I'm a moron.....

Why am I taking this so hard?

Why am I not worth 5 minutes of his time? That makes me feel worthless, and why would i want someone who makes me feel worthless? Again i can't answer this question because no matter what i still want him just as bad.

Why won't i move on? I keep torturing myself over something that probably isn't ever going to happen.

I'm just so baffled about how someone can have so many "Feelings" for you and then it's like all of a sudden one day he decides that hes not going to talk to you anymore. There probably is a reason that that happened but i'll never know because no one will ever talk to me about it. ESPECIALLY him. I've tried calling but i "blow up his phone" so it makes me even scared to even look at his number on my thing. I wish that he would grow up and grow some balls to actually deal with this whole situation i've been sitting here waiting and only god knows why because why should i have to "Wait" for someone to deal with something like that i guess if it was that important to him he'd call.

I keep trying to tell myself that but I CAN'T HELP BUT STILL WANT TO BE WITH HIM.

Why is that? it makes me mad. I know he doesn't want me so why do i still waste my time trying.

I'm sorry if you actually read this. If you did, you might not understand it. I'm not sure i do. I'm so confused and bitter and angry, frustruated and upset all at the same time...not a good combination.

I wish he'd talk to me...i'm so pathetic....